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Its amazing how much medicine has progressed over the years. They have gadgets that are so sophisticated that it bleeps and groans at the discovery of everything. The machine groans and groans that the patient doubts if he or she will survive at the end of the examination. The lack of warmth, familiarity and certainty can put just about any healthy individual into a trauma worthy of cardiac arrest.

I hate hospitals.

You may argue that happiness do exist in hospitals. You may say that people are healed, borned and re-borned there. But how many? So many leave in despair. So many leave in fear. So many leave in tears as they lose all hope. So many that it out numbers all the joy. No matter how hard the management tries to plaster every free wall space with colourful potraits and drawings, the whole place comes off dull and dark.

The sick are numbed by their doctors' countless attempts to make them better. To mend and repair. Some remain motionless although what the doctors are doing hurts them. They've recited time and time again in their hearts that it will all soon go away. Again and yet again.

Even the tiny are not spared. A smile or kind word is so greatly appreciated and never once taken for granted.

Doctors and nurses are brave people who are capable of withstanding hurting people in order to rid them of pain. My heart goes out to all of you. But please don't turn into cranky, shouting people who are easily iritated with your patient's blurness. Please.

~A glimpse of your pain is forever tormenting me. [numbed]

Something was offered to me today. Something that might just do the trick of putting my thoughts back where its supposed to be. Its not going to solve my problem(s) but it would do me good to focus on something else. This would help in assessing whether I should follow my dream or do as certain rather influential people are dictating me to. I can't say what it is just yet. I'm not superstitious but I revealed previous ones to a few people and I ended up losing it completely. Let me just make this a sure thing and I'll tell anyone whos interested in knowing.

I'm trying my super best to make all my free time work for me. So...*brace yourself* I've decided to try to learn languages. Hee. Its most obvious to start with the two that are of my origin. The two languages of which I'll try not to wreck and create new phrases and words are *drumrolls* Mandarin/Cantonese and Tamil. I've begun by badgering and following my mentors fondly known as Ma and Pa around as I ask them whats this and that in this and that. They're more exasperated than glad but I gave them a whole speech on how I should learn my mother tongues and having two is no help. Hee.

I can officially ask Ma for water and tell Pa to not mengada. Hee.

Wish me luck!

So, life has been pretty uneventful. I don't even know if you could call it life at all. It was nice at first but when my routine only consisted of eating, sleeping and reading, well I got and still am restless. I know all you people with undone assignments and cramming for exams would scream at me and shake me silly to bang some sense into me. But, guys when that's all you do, life isn't pretty! Nah-a!

All that free time got me thinking about stuff. Freaky stuffs. Things that have been shoved into the backburner a long time ago. Things that scream 'Reality' and are of no fun.

I can't come to terms with things. I don't feel like being "...a responsible young adult" yet. Yet! How did things get the way it did? It's all coming in huge tidal waves. I can't let it wash over me and I can't run.

Of all the things I need this and this is the one thing that will eventually have to be taken from me. Wrenched from its place in my life. It's totally toppled my believe system. I don't know anymore. Nothing is what I thought it was supposed to be. I just need a little more time. To figure things out before its taken away. Please stop the pain. Please let this be okay. Please, I'm just begging.

Tell me what to do...

I went ultimately sugar-high! Hee. I wasn't alone. I crossed the uncertain waters of craziness with a partner! *drum rolls* My sister! Woot! We made up funny stuffs and laughed at them as if our lives depended on it. Roselyn's laugh was pitchy and high. *laughs* And the craziness added with French songs and orchestras as well as us being frazzled by the sun was only just the beginning. I think the people who were pushed up against us were either already plotting on ways to murder us or cursing their luck to be right next to us. *giggles*

It was so wrong but so fun! =))

Ever find yourself running to catch a train when you see a crowd rushing only to find that you've been somewhat tricked and that the train was never even close to begin with. *grins* That's what happened and we came up with a theory. (sound like Navin and Zhi Wei only lah)

Well its like this we figured that someone must have seen a squirrel on the tracks. But going through the great vine people heard train instead and started running towards the entrance. Other innocent passengers run also lah in the hopes of getting a seat but then...*jeng jeng jeng* no train! So we form a stampede, pushing against each other's sweaty bodies and rubbing each other in all the wrong ways only to wait and NOT get a seat! Apenie?! Conspiracy betul lah! Must weed out that evil person and demonstrate some torture techniques!

Murphy's Law betul lah...*winks*

Ribena is the most best-est, coolest, wonderful and fantabulous drink in the whole entire universe. Seriously. Besides loaded with a tonne of vitamins and other goodie stuffs to make any unhealthy human being blush, its also a thirst-quencher and a hunger-pacifier and also a hyper-generator. Hee. I wanna own a ribena-generating factory. It shall be called ' Tiffany & the ribena factory '. Hee.

The big boogie woogie wasn't so scary after all. It turned out to be really funny actually. I went for an interview at Crown Princess in the morning. My tummy was digesting itself as if it hasn't been digested enough at previous similar situations. I was getting all worked up to cough up some brilliant answers to impress, if only I knew lah. He only went as far as introducing himself before I had to already bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. Lets just say his command of the English language is far from satisfactory. *grins*

Never attempt to influence Chris in choosing a book or paper or stationery. "...too big...too thick..too long...too...." *shakes head* The lady that was there trying possibly hard to choose a book and block out our voices all at the same time also got convinced from all my reasonings and the girl was still not happy. Ish-ness betul. This lah that lah, everything not right! Finally as if the Gods smiled down on me, she chose two (2) books which I (I) (!) endorsed! Hee. The books rock big time and not because I chose it, it really rocks! ~jotter addiction~

I'm still confused. Confusion just took a whole new level today. So many things just not nearly enough time for the brain to process them all. I'm faced with a decision which requires immediate action and yet confusion has set in. *sighs* I need a shoulder to cry on, an unbiased voice and a patient dear but all I have is me.

I'll survive somehow 'cos I'm human and somewhere in my mechanism I must be equipped for this.

I'll go find my User's Manual now.

Hyperness went into full swing. I made Nahlina laugh until her *censored* hurt. Hee. Well I'm not entirely responsible for it being hurt. She fell on it 'till she felt the impact right up to her brain. Now how am I supposed to compete with that. *grins*

Things happened in a blur. One minute, no, more like the whole time I was the girl who did nothing and the next I'm a nervous wreck trying to piece it all together.

Stuffs have been happening. Feelings have been pushed aside to allow whatever that is left of a brain to do its charm.

I mutilated 'it'. Its forever gone. RIP.

I'm facing the big boogie woogie head on tomorrow. Eeks. Even the very thought of a boardroom full of people questioning me gives me the shivers already. Scared like nobody's business.

Entry is made up of nonsensical sentences thrown together because the girl is mighty confused about anything and everything.

' Zenbu wakaranai '

Lets get down to the tag lah. I've been dragging it since forever. *long sigh*

Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like most, then pick five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative and not use things that someone else has already used.

[1] Having ice cream with the people I love.
[2] Star gazing.
[3] Hanging out with everyone and being me.=))
[4] Walking on the beach in the dark with a torch.
[5] Reading a good book in the park as the sun sets.

*evil laughter* My reward is tagging back! Woohoo! Chwizzle, Jirwan..eeks! Kenny, erm..hee=P

The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover. Need to mention the sex of the target. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their page saying they've been tagged. If tagged the 2nd time, theres no need to post again.

[1] He has to be someone whos capable of discussions. He has a stand in things and not only follows the masses' view on things.
[2] He must be able to love me for everything that I am. Hyperness and all included.
[3] Understanding, crazy, loving, funny, independant.
[4] Genuine laugh and smile.
[5] A love for helping others.
[6] Great personality and character.
[7] Sincere in all he says and does, to and for me.
[8] Tall! (Hee..its discriminative I know but *shrugs*) ;)

ps : Public to be reminded that tag was completed while Natasha Bedingfield's Single was on playlist so tag may not be entirely honest.

I got introduced to anime today or at least a little bitsy teeny part of it. Hee. Lisia had the honour of corrupting my brain with it. The whole thing is so cute plus the graphics rock. I'm hooked! Hanging out with Lisia was in the purest sense of hanging out itself. We did random things when we assumed appropriate. Hee. It was just really the company except for when I started assuming every car that passed her house to be her family returning home to banish me out of the house. *apologises* The girl had to run back and forth from the computer area to the front door only to smile and say ".....not them lah!". Sorry lah but I'm still scared of 'gumball' if you know what I mean. *grins*

It was really really nice hanging out with her. I still don't understand the exhaustion after trying on the kebaya tops and why she didn't eat the egg tart after buying it to 'try' but thanks for lending me 'pita ten' , 'cosmic' and all your ancient books. Hee.

~ A note to her ~
Thanks for driving around today. And not killing us. Remember your mission to finish watching episodes 4-25. Hee. Remember when watching, brighten the room and sit away from the TV'su..*grins*