off much deprived limelight

So, that day is now upon me. The day when I jump out of the conformity of uniforms into that of the supposed "carefree" world. Hmmph. I seriously doubt there won't be no more conformity. Instead, I think the burden of it will be even more pronounced now. Now, now, it's not like I'm being ultra negative of the whole affair.

I'm well aware it'll be an experience like no other.

Before [that] happened I was excited, thrilled, exhilirated by the whole asppect of it looming closer with each passing day. Post [that], the excitement is there with little bits of thrill here and there but exhiliration just completely vanished. Wiped off! As if it never did exist.

I know lah have to be positive and all. While I sit down here and cross every crossable body part, my stomach is twisting in knots 'cause I know that it'll take something more than a miracle for things to change.

Everyone's saying "Who knows? Maybe just maybe it'll be different.." Well maybe is not good enough! It was supposed to be mine. A unique thing that'll identify me for who I am and not this sickening conundrum. Now, it'll be like every other thing. Blend, blend and whoops! "I didn't even notice you" (invisibility without a magical cloak!)

I'll need more than luck. I'll need all the courage I can muster to make a difference 'cause I do think I deserve that much.

*I am me so 'lemme be! Go find you and stop feeding off me!

minx wrote at12:58 AM
3 replies

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