the girl
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She's the girl who sits and watches while others live a charmed life. The girl loves to write but doesn't know if she's any good at it. She loves rainbow sprinkled ice cream on a rainy day. She loves to take walks with the wind blowing. Giggling should be made a career. She tells you her secrets in not so many words.
in the past
blog pokes
well-known pokes
Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:20 AM
between in-between(s)
It really is those sheets of paper on the table. Sometimes it seems like it's that book on top of all the other books in the book case. But I believe if you look closely you'll find that it's the way that there are much too many torn Hershey's kisses wrappers in the bin.
It's a beautiful morning and the birds are speaking of a peace that only they and perhaps the rest of nature understands.
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Their animated chirps are so full of cheer and life that it's a shame to be in the dark about it. Maybe the few of you who reads this understand too. And I hope you do.
The rays of sunlight streaming in through the curtains seem to want to speak of something more than it's warmth. It's not difficult to stand up and pull the curtains close but I don't. You can call it being lazy and I admit that there's some truth in that. But I can't honestly say that that is all there is to it.
I want to go outside and look up at the sky. I want to have a staring competition with Mr. Sun and hopefully win. I want to see the yellow swimming patterns when I look away after staring.
I want to do all that without these thoughts in my head.
But want and need are two different things, are they not?
The distinguishing line often blurs away from view but trust me when I say there is a line. I should know because I should. Yes, this sounds awfully like something out of the social psychology text. If anyone needs an explanation on the theory/model, I assure you that some gushing will be involved =)
And then there was this it.
This was supposed to be easy. A one-off thing that shifts into reverse and fades into oblivion. I guess when you 'suppose' things, they only chase after you faster and more diligently than before. My legs will carry me through because I know where to turn to recharge them.
I don't know what this is and thankfully, I believe I don't want to find out now.
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This between in between(s) is what tires.
It's a beautiful morning and the birds are speaking of a peace that only they and perhaps the rest of nature understands.
+copy.jpg)
Their animated chirps are so full of cheer and life that it's a shame to be in the dark about it. Maybe the few of you who reads this understand too. And I hope you do.The rays of sunlight streaming in through the curtains seem to want to speak of something more than it's warmth. It's not difficult to stand up and pull the curtains close but I don't. You can call it being lazy and I admit that there's some truth in that. But I can't honestly say that that is all there is to it.
I want to go outside and look up at the sky. I want to have a staring competition with Mr. Sun and hopefully win. I want to see the yellow swimming patterns when I look away after staring.
I want to do all that without these thoughts in my head.
But want and need are two different things, are they not?
The distinguishing line often blurs away from view but trust me when I say there is a line. I should know because I should. Yes, this sounds awfully like something out of the social psychology text. If anyone needs an explanation on the theory/model, I assure you that some gushing will be involved =)
And then there was this it.
This was supposed to be easy. A one-off thing that shifts into reverse and fades into oblivion. I guess when you 'suppose' things, they only chase after you faster and more diligently than before. My legs will carry me through because I know where to turn to recharge them.
I don't know what this is and thankfully, I believe I don't want to find out now.
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This between in between(s) is what tires. minx wrote at9:20 AM
1 replies
1 replies
Tuesday, June 24, 2008 7:23 PM
post-it
Come, come, cue horror music with me. Funny how I've been working on my horror music hum the entire day and still, it sounds like the theme from Pink Panther. I don't know if I want to be given the chance to practice it some more. Though, I must say, it's been quite a day.
The encounter/ambush/interrogation at the washroom.
The silent cheering and biting of lips.
The red eyes and nose.
The angryscreamyell storm off.
The blue lace curtains and the thoughts that accompanied it.
The inevitable realization over dinner.
I can't quite tally the score. Perhaps I'll come to see why this has to be. Or maybe this will take longer than I hope it would. Either way at least I've ticked off one item on the to-do list.
=)
The encounter/ambush/interrogation at the washroom.
The silent cheering and biting of lips.
The red eyes and nose.
The angryscreamyell storm off.The blue lace curtains and the thoughts that accompanied it.
The inevitable realization over dinner.
I can't quite tally the score. Perhaps I'll come to see why this has to be. Or maybe this will take longer than I hope it would. Either way at least I've ticked off one item on the to-do list.
=)
minx wrote at7:23 PM
3 replies
3 replies
Monday, June 23, 2008 10:42 PM
blue paper on train rides
There we were sitting quietly opposite each other. It wasn't particularly crowded but it was evident that it was past office hours. That nurse blocking the view in the opposite window opening catches my glance every time I try to look out past the buildings. Her eyes hold something more than the usual stony stares that you see in nurses tired from a long day entertaining the sicks' whims. No, this one was just different. Perhaps it was the way her genie-like spectacles had a beady string hanging from it. Or how her red lipstick matched her red-blushed cheeks.
She is something I will remember amidst the silly words on this blue paper.
Her, and the way this train is throwing me around. It's making me regress to handwriting from before Gran taught me to put an index finger between words.
I've gone to Mars and back with these words. It lacks coherence. It's so absolutely random and all over the place that Mrs. Wong from school would scream in outrage. To amend and repair it would kill it's sincerity and the urgency that was present at the time of writing. As I put in the stars and many connecting circles, I reconsider if this was right. I wonder if things have changed. I think of time when I wasn't so stupid.
All this thinking made me forget to look out for the words announcing this train's destination. But never mind the many disembarking and boarding cause train rides are strangely calming that way. There's something about beating the beeps at the door that's amusing but in parts, depressing.
Masjid Jamek - Cheras - Sultan Ismail - Cahaya - Maluri
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Fun, perhaps a little bit. Thought-provoking, definitely.
I'd do it again and again and again, everyday.
She is something I will remember amidst the silly words on this blue paper.
Her, and the way this train is throwing me around. It's making me regress to handwriting from before Gran taught me to put an index finger between words.
I've gone to Mars and back with these words. It lacks coherence. It's so absolutely random and all over the place that Mrs. Wong from school would scream in outrage. To amend and repair it would kill it's sincerity and the urgency that was present at the time of writing. As I put in the stars and many connecting circles, I reconsider if this was right. I wonder if things have changed. I think of time when I wasn't so stupid.
All this thinking made me forget to look out for the words announcing this train's destination. But never mind the many disembarking and boarding cause train rides are strangely calming that way. There's something about beating the beeps at the door that's amusing but in parts, depressing.
Masjid Jamek - Cheras - Sultan Ismail - Cahaya - Maluri
+copy.jpg)
Fun, perhaps a little bit. Thought-provoking, definitely.I'd do it again and again and again, everyday.
minx wrote at10:42 PM
Monday, June 09, 2008 10:29 PM
the magic rain
The afternoon's staring away and listening to voices while sitting cross-legged on the red cushioned chair was an experience. It felt like being zapped to and fro; all the time at ultra speed. That inner holding cell felt overwhelming and that was why the thought of food irked so much that the rumbling tummy quieten itself into silence.
It is on days like this that I am glad I threw in the three three-dimensional pocket stars into my pencil case. That, coupled with a few animated stories from a lecturer that doesn't stop for breath and you're pretty much set to use the get out of jail card. But getting out of the holding cell doesn't necessarily mean everything's okay.
No, quite far from it, really.
If you sat with me, we'd just be sitting.
Perhaps in silence. Perhaps in a mountain of tissue paper. Or perhaps in pockets of giggles so ticklish that laughter would be only a moment out of our reach.
Oh, let me tell you, I can sit. The question is will you sit with me? And for how long.
For now, sitting isn't the issue. I'll sit alone because I have to be strong like that. It wasn't ever a problem because I know of one much greater who will sit with me at every red-cushioned chair, every sidewalk, every park bench. No, this is not it for now 'cause I think the answer to this question can wait.
It's that, that I just typed and hit backspace on.
=) But forget that because it rained. Oh so heavily and oh so prettily! =)
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After a half an hour, a text message, the reply to the text and my own reply, we were still staring at the same red traffic lights. Good thing we moved 'cause it was crazy how I was about ready to do as I texted. Trust me, a walk in the awesome heavy rain is worth putting your car into park in bad traffic. You could probably get home and back and you wouldn't have missed a thing.
Upon getting home, there was allowance to indulge.
This was one that only involved a worn out pair of slippers, hair up in a bun and this morning's 'outfit' to college, the genius duo that is Hansard & Irglova and a trusty phone camera.
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Hanging my legs in the air was just the right remedy.
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And a much more perfect close than the one that I expected.
Thank You for the beauty. And grace.
It is on days like this that I am glad I threw in the three three-dimensional pocket stars into my pencil case. That, coupled with a few animated stories from a lecturer that doesn't stop for breath and you're pretty much set to use the get out of jail card. But getting out of the holding cell doesn't necessarily mean everything's okay.
No, quite far from it, really.
If you sat with me, we'd just be sitting.
Perhaps in silence. Perhaps in a mountain of tissue paper. Or perhaps in pockets of giggles so ticklish that laughter would be only a moment out of our reach.
Oh, let me tell you, I can sit. The question is will you sit with me? And for how long.
For now, sitting isn't the issue. I'll sit alone because I have to be strong like that. It wasn't ever a problem because I know of one much greater who will sit with me at every red-cushioned chair, every sidewalk, every park bench. No, this is not it for now 'cause I think the answer to this question can wait.
It's that, that I just typed and hit backspace on.
=) But forget that because it rained. Oh so heavily and oh so prettily! =)
+copy.jpg)
After a half an hour, a text message, the reply to the text and my own reply, we were still staring at the same red traffic lights. Good thing we moved 'cause it was crazy how I was about ready to do as I texted. Trust me, a walk in the awesome heavy rain is worth putting your car into park in bad traffic. You could probably get home and back and you wouldn't have missed a thing.Upon getting home, there was allowance to indulge.
This was one that only involved a worn out pair of slippers, hair up in a bun and this morning's 'outfit' to college, the genius duo that is Hansard & Irglova and a trusty phone camera.
+copy.jpg)
+copy.jpg)
+copy.jpg)
+copy.jpg)
Hanging my legs in the air was just the right remedy.+copy.jpg)
And a much more perfect close than the one that I expected.Thank You for the beauty. And grace.
minx wrote at10:29 PM
1 replies
1 replies
Sunday, June 08, 2008 6:44 PM
where the mountains meet the sky
The bottom of the box reads, This box deserves another chance to hold a pair of Converse shoes. How, you tell me, can one have the heart to recycle a box that is so cool that it has two metal holes identical to the ones on the original Chucks? Difficult much! But, recycle we must. If not for the sake of trying to ease Mother Earth's pains at least so this box will get the honour of housing another pair of Chucks.
She rocks the Chucks. She rocks the bag. She's a natural with the hoodie.
And naturally, I'm penniless.
She's been needing them. And this weekend, everything just gave up on her so we had to have a girls day out. She dreaded the searching and finding but I suspect she enjoyed lunch! It's absolutely nice to go to lunch and order whatever and not be afraid half of it will go to waste. She's the only one who can detect when I'm forcing things down and her offer to finish it just makes me so glad =)
The best part of getting shopping done is when you get to the cash register and have the cashier push a button or two and discover there was actually a discount on the item. Yes, I jumped. See, when you're going broke and can already envision yourself living on next to nothing for yourself for the next few weeks (or months!), a discount symbol deserves a jump and a skip and even a hop if you can manage it!
After church, the wallet was no longer to hold money but receipts! So, I'm broke right? Which means no restocking on the chocolate stash for the weekend, yes? Perhaps it just is reason enough to dip the hand into the 'Emergency Fund' he put aside. But the guilt screamed, 'NO!'.
=/ There was this inner chant that refused to give up. How, how? He provided! He did! Nothing big and fancy but He provided!
=) All of which I spent on Bytes and loveletters.
Now, if she didn't have to be at the X, I would have had to get a real meal. But since she isn't here, this packet is going to take forever to open.
har, har, har, this is the song of the Bad Beard. nothing difficult, x marks the spot!
And it won't taste like it always does.
miss you, missy.
She rocks the Chucks. She rocks the bag. She's a natural with the hoodie.And naturally, I'm penniless.
She's been needing them. And this weekend, everything just gave up on her so we had to have a girls day out. She dreaded the searching and finding but I suspect she enjoyed lunch! It's absolutely nice to go to lunch and order whatever and not be afraid half of it will go to waste. She's the only one who can detect when I'm forcing things down and her offer to finish it just makes me so glad =)
The best part of getting shopping done is when you get to the cash register and have the cashier push a button or two and discover there was actually a discount on the item. Yes, I jumped. See, when you're going broke and can already envision yourself living on next to nothing for yourself for the next few weeks (or months!), a discount symbol deserves a jump and a skip and even a hop if you can manage it!
After church, the wallet was no longer to hold money but receipts! So, I'm broke right? Which means no restocking on the chocolate stash for the weekend, yes? Perhaps it just is reason enough to dip the hand into the 'Emergency Fund' he put aside. But the guilt screamed, 'NO!'.
=/ There was this inner chant that refused to give up. How, how? He provided! He did! Nothing big and fancy but He provided!
=) All of which I spent on Bytes and loveletters.Now, if she didn't have to be at the X, I would have had to get a real meal. But since she isn't here, this packet is going to take forever to open.
har, har, har, this is the song of the Bad Beard. nothing difficult, x marks the spot!And it won't taste like it always does.
miss you, missy.
minx wrote at6:44 PM
0 replies
0 replies