the girl
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She's the girl who sits and watches while others live a charmed life. The girl loves to write but doesn't know if she's any good at it. She loves rainbow sprinkled ice cream on a rainy day. She loves to take walks with the wind blowing. Giggling should be made a career. She tells you her secrets in not so many words.
in the past
blog pokes
well-known pokes
Thursday, July 24, 2008 11:17 PM
there's another handful where that came from
What's with the blaming?
Yes, what's with that. You can ask that question over and again and the very best that could possibly happen is that the question will bounce off the walls around you. At the end of the bouncing spree, you'll see it parked right in your face in the very same way it left you.
Its difficult but I'll let it fall on these shoulders. All is well now that it's gone down that way. So why this gnawing feeling? What's with the smudged cheeks and rough wiping away? Why the difficulty in holding back that last wave? Very many questions that perhaps don't require an answer as urgently as the one posed at the beginning of this.
But nothing is nearly as bad as it is if you're able to find the hint of a silver lining. You see, once you've gotten hold of even a tiny peek at it, everything will look up =)
Like walking to nowhere in the hot sun because all you needed was to walk. And then find a destination with shady trees, a place to sit and the wind blowing just right.
And being blessed twice with fresh bird poop, thankfully not on the head.
Also to have just enough money to get an Apple pancake despite walking off without your wallet.
Then look at crazy smiley pictures that keep you smiling through redundant tasks.
But the grandest has got to be handing the cashier at a 7Eleven counter, first one hand of small change and then another and followed by another in exchange for a Classic Chocolate Cornetto and have him beam a thank you back at you. This brought me back to times in a blue pinafore and torn shoes panting at the Ice Cream Uncle at his motorbike outside the school gate. That was the moment of my day, nothing could possibly go wrong after ice cream, Priscilla Ahn and a drive.
Thank You for the strength. It was just enough =))
Yes, what's with that. You can ask that question over and again and the very best that could possibly happen is that the question will bounce off the walls around you. At the end of the bouncing spree, you'll see it parked right in your face in the very same way it left you.
Its difficult but I'll let it fall on these shoulders. All is well now that it's gone down that way. So why this gnawing feeling? What's with the smudged cheeks and rough wiping away? Why the difficulty in holding back that last wave? Very many questions that perhaps don't require an answer as urgently as the one posed at the beginning of this.
But nothing is nearly as bad as it is if you're able to find the hint of a silver lining. You see, once you've gotten hold of even a tiny peek at it, everything will look up =)
Like walking to nowhere in the hot sun because all you needed was to walk. And then find a destination with shady trees, a place to sit and the wind blowing just right.
And being blessed twice with fresh bird poop, thankfully not on the head.
Also to have just enough money to get an Apple pancake despite walking off without your wallet.
Then look at crazy smiley pictures that keep you smiling through redundant tasks.
But the grandest has got to be handing the cashier at a 7Eleven counter, first one hand of small change and then another and followed by another in exchange for a Classic Chocolate Cornetto and have him beam a thank you back at you. This brought me back to times in a blue pinafore and torn shoes panting at the Ice Cream Uncle at his motorbike outside the school gate. That was the moment of my day, nothing could possibly go wrong after ice cream, Priscilla Ahn and a drive.
Thank You for the strength. It was just enough =))
minx wrote at11:17 PM
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008 9:52 PM
i could run out, then come back and call it a social experiment
I was tempted to call it in. To throw my hands in the air and declare it out loud amidst the clicks of mouses and typing fingers.
It wasn't only difficult but in fact very much painful to sit there in front of the screen while it poured outside my window. The pain would have been considerably reduced if the blinds would just cooperate and stay open. For the first time in the longest time, I wished the rain would just leave to go to be with someone who needs it.
I dreaded so much how I wanted to be outside under my new umbrella.
It would have been a great walk. One that would have raindrops wet my feet and the wind dance cheekily through my hair. It would have been a walk that would have gotten me sick with happiness. But as is evident, it remains a would have been. Undeniably, it was regret and dread that came over me. At times, you could sense a hint of contempt.
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The redundancy in the task did nothing except aggravate matters. It was then, more than anytime that I desired to be alone to chew and quietly digest. But all the flurry around: can finish today?, check Information Architecture again and then go to Livelink!, come for lunch with us? made it quite impossible.
So, I declined the meal invite and instead had Explosions in the Sky over for some nasi goreng cina. The thirty minutes together alone was so much comfort. This was the first of a few blessings to come.
At clock out, I got the walk back. There was no heavy rain and no reason to flaunt the new umbrella but it was beautiful how He made Mr. Sun do extra hours just like I did. It was 7pm and there were streetlights but the sun shone a warmth so slight, it was nothing short of mesmerizing. The sky was a beautiful mix of blue, purple, gray, yellow and more. I could never do it justice with words, no one could.
Walking on familiar routes made me remember of the times my feet trudged these same paths along with other feet - the feet of ones I now miss.
+copy.jpg)
With each step, I thought of each one of you. Your silliness, your laughter and your voices and that made me smile =)
It wasn't only difficult but in fact very much painful to sit there in front of the screen while it poured outside my window. The pain would have been considerably reduced if the blinds would just cooperate and stay open. For the first time in the longest time, I wished the rain would just leave to go to be with someone who needs it.
I dreaded so much how I wanted to be outside under my new umbrella.
It would have been a great walk. One that would have raindrops wet my feet and the wind dance cheekily through my hair. It would have been a walk that would have gotten me sick with happiness. But as is evident, it remains a would have been. Undeniably, it was regret and dread that came over me. At times, you could sense a hint of contempt.
+copy.jpg)
The redundancy in the task did nothing except aggravate matters. It was then, more than anytime that I desired to be alone to chew and quietly digest. But all the flurry around: can finish today?, check Information Architecture again and then go to Livelink!, come for lunch with us? made it quite impossible.
So, I declined the meal invite and instead had Explosions in the Sky over for some nasi goreng cina. The thirty minutes together alone was so much comfort. This was the first of a few blessings to come.
At clock out, I got the walk back. There was no heavy rain and no reason to flaunt the new umbrella but it was beautiful how He made Mr. Sun do extra hours just like I did. It was 7pm and there were streetlights but the sun shone a warmth so slight, it was nothing short of mesmerizing. The sky was a beautiful mix of blue, purple, gray, yellow and more. I could never do it justice with words, no one could.
Walking on familiar routes made me remember of the times my feet trudged these same paths along with other feet - the feet of ones I now miss.
+copy.jpg)
With each step, I thought of each one of you. Your silliness, your laughter and your voices and that made me smile =) minx wrote at9:52 PM
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0 replies
Monday, July 14, 2008 10:37 PM
bright and (too) early
Kicking start on the same day as rallies and votes held much good and bad.
Thirty pages into the book, good.
Two and a half hours waiting at the lobby, good and bad.
Tummy ache from fear and washroom rushes, bad.
Topic for conversations with focal people, good.
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Today the Pecten beckoned.
Thirty pages into the book, good.
Two and a half hours waiting at the lobby, good and bad.
Tummy ache from fear and washroom rushes, bad.
Topic for conversations with focal people, good.
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Today the Pecten beckoned. minx wrote at10:37 PM
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earful of beauty
Excitement kills sleep.
This was something I found out that Saturday.
Perhaps it was the guilt from being out on the weekend before finals. Or perhaps because I was due to watch Mono. *jumpskipshopsbeams* The amazing part was how it only took one line to get me all hyped up.
Admittedly, I didn't deserve to be there, much less given the privilege I had. That is why I regret not occasionally handing my pass to the others so they could have a go in that zebra-like cage with the awesome view. But thankfully, they were resourceful! I would never have figured out a way to get to the other side of the stage like they did =)
And so this was how I saw Mono on July 5th, all thanks to you =)
Excessive amounts of drummer in action cause drummers Never get featured enough. And well, cause I'm mad about them like that, heh!
Like I said, so many times, it wasn't necessary but I'm glad you did it or I wouldn't have realised I could draw Billy and Mandy and a very hip Grim! Haha.
The pieces of the day I took away to stitch back together later that night can't be told in words, much less up here. Maybe that's why I still lost sleep after the show. That's a picture I think I'll keep drawn in my head.
Thank you for this =)
This was something I found out that Saturday.
Perhaps it was the guilt from being out on the weekend before finals. Or perhaps because I was due to watch Mono. *jumpskipshopsbeams* The amazing part was how it only took one line to get me all hyped up.
Admittedly, I didn't deserve to be there, much less given the privilege I had. That is why I regret not occasionally handing my pass to the others so they could have a go in that zebra-like cage with the awesome view. But thankfully, they were resourceful! I would never have figured out a way to get to the other side of the stage like they did =)
And so this was how I saw Mono on July 5th, all thanks to you =)
Excessive amounts of drummer in action cause drummers Never get featured enough. And well, cause I'm mad about them like that, heh!
Like I said, so many times, it wasn't necessary but I'm glad you did it or I wouldn't have realised I could draw Billy and Mandy and a very hip Grim! Haha.The pieces of the day I took away to stitch back together later that night can't be told in words, much less up here. Maybe that's why I still lost sleep after the show. That's a picture I think I'll keep drawn in my head.
Thank you for this =)
minx wrote at9:41 PM
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1 replies
words in a new tab
I read you over and again, because I can. I read you as loudly possible in my head with a smile on my lips. I read you so soft, you sound close to a whisper.
I read you and I know this is something I'll cherish in the longest time to come.
You used to be a thought, just in passing. A glimmer of hope in the midst of childish dreams. Someone that was someone in some place with something important to do.
As I look out, the droplets of rain make it's way down the long window panes and I think in my head that perhaps this should stop. I can't afford to trace my fingers down the outline the rain was making without feeling dread over being inside. Funny how my mind took that and drew a parallel to you. And the many things I said and changed my mind soon afterwards and then changed my mind again seemed so petty. I tried hard to make you the bad one so you'll be easier to hate. And with that, hopefully forget.
I'm glad I did and didn't.
Who knew it could come to this. Who really knew except that one much greater.
It really is a blessing that this is what it is. Nothing more and nothing less. This isn't what they say it is. Quite far from it, really. Truth told, I'm more glad than anything that it isn't.
Because today as I read you, I realise that deep down I hope that I'll never lose this that I cherish so much in you.
I read you and I know this is something I'll cherish in the longest time to come.
You used to be a thought, just in passing. A glimmer of hope in the midst of childish dreams. Someone that was someone in some place with something important to do.
As I look out, the droplets of rain make it's way down the long window panes and I think in my head that perhaps this should stop. I can't afford to trace my fingers down the outline the rain was making without feeling dread over being inside. Funny how my mind took that and drew a parallel to you. And the many things I said and changed my mind soon afterwards and then changed my mind again seemed so petty. I tried hard to make you the bad one so you'll be easier to hate. And with that, hopefully forget.
I'm glad I did and didn't.
Who knew it could come to this. Who really knew except that one much greater.
It really is a blessing that this is what it is. Nothing more and nothing less. This isn't what they say it is. Quite far from it, really. Truth told, I'm more glad than anything that it isn't.
Because today as I read you, I realise that deep down I hope that I'll never lose this that I cherish so much in you.
minx wrote at9:19 PM