the girl
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She's the girl who sits and watches while others live a charmed life. The girl loves to write but doesn't know if she's any good at it. She loves rainbow sprinkled ice cream on a rainy day. She loves to take walks with the wind blowing. Giggling should be made a career. She tells you her secrets in not so many words.
in the past
blog pokes
well-known pokes
Sunday, September 28, 2008 11:25 PM
i want to remember
It's so grand how there's no need to stand out or attempt at being excellent; no need to be associated to a distinguishing factor so my name doesn't slip.
It's awesome beyond expectation and terribly terrifying that every gory detail, every nonsensical thought is never hidden, and still there's this need to want to know moremoremore.
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He knows me by name (!) =)
"You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman." - Max Lucado
thank You Mister Master Craftsman for loving me so
It's awesome beyond expectation and terribly terrifying that every gory detail, every nonsensical thought is never hidden, and still there's this need to want to know moremoremore.
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He knows me by name (!) =)"You aren't an accident. You weren't mass-produced. You aren't an assembly-line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on this earth by the Master Craftsman." - Max Lucado
thank You Mister Master Craftsman for loving me so
minx wrote at11:25 PM
2 replies
2 replies
Saturday, September 27, 2008 1:53 PM
hello, i got something to tell you
- these little wonders still remain -
Tapirs have 14 toes - four on the front and three on the back; on each side.
I like how they have this very unnoticeable difference (unless you stare or watch Animal Planet!). I like how they have a nose and tongue that can wrap around bananas to pull into their mouths. I like how they have really sharp teeth in their mouths so they can bite away at the enemy (if the need arises).
I like that He took so much care to take care of them.
- i never get around under the sun and the stars and I may be always frowning but wonder you will see, under the sun and the stars you will turn around and I'll be emotion -
The way cartoon can reveal profound insights is awe-worthy.
I sat with a tiny boy with a head triple his size and a voice that reminded me of Dash.
He was intelligent, he was determined and he was sad. He had a sadness in his animated eyes that didn't take me too much to notice. It was painful but it was real.
His story changed for the best and not in the outlandish ways that most fairy tales would end; it was within means.
He still had much to go through but he knew the pain to get to it was worth every single tear at the heart.
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He's my hero =)
- in the end we will only just remember how it feels -
Tapirs have 14 toes - four on the front and three on the back; on each side.
I like how they have this very unnoticeable difference (unless you stare or watch Animal Planet!). I like how they have a nose and tongue that can wrap around bananas to pull into their mouths. I like how they have really sharp teeth in their mouths so they can bite away at the enemy (if the need arises).
I like that He took so much care to take care of them.
- i never get around under the sun and the stars and I may be always frowning but wonder you will see, under the sun and the stars you will turn around and I'll be emotion -
The way cartoon can reveal profound insights is awe-worthy.
I sat with a tiny boy with a head triple his size and a voice that reminded me of Dash.
He was intelligent, he was determined and he was sad. He had a sadness in his animated eyes that didn't take me too much to notice. It was painful but it was real.
His story changed for the best and not in the outlandish ways that most fairy tales would end; it was within means.
He still had much to go through but he knew the pain to get to it was worth every single tear at the heart.
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He's my hero =)- in the end we will only just remember how it feels -
minx wrote at1:53 PM
0 replies
0 replies
Friday, September 26, 2008 9:04 PM
that's all...? really?!
It's a day when iPods are kept in pants pockets; a day when you do small dances with the weight on your back because you see no other way out.
It's a day when milo feels heavier than an entire meal.
It's...
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...pain lah
I wish it didn't have to.
Maybe the next post will be a happy one? =)
(i hope)
It's a day when milo feels heavier than an entire meal.
It's...
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...pain lahI wish it didn't have to.
Maybe the next post will be a happy one? =)
(i hope)
minx wrote at9:04 PM
Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:12 PM
my pained teddy made strong
They never get it right no matter how many times we've corrected them.
We've tried making it seem like a secret spelling play. We've tried doing it with pronounced lip movement and syllable emphasis. We've even tried rationalizing so they would remember better and yet they still can't get it right.
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He's given up and although it's his name, I'm still at it.
I can't possibly stop cause my thoughts tell me that it diminishes a little from the ties we have and that scares me. It may be a silly mistake but it just bothers that if not for my birth certificate, we'll technically not belong.
There she is, all decked in green repeating instructions and she's saying it with a pronounced 'u'. It bugs me and I want to say something but I let her go on. Her green uniform must already carry much more than it usually should and so adding this to that may not be a very wise thing to do. She seemed serious but with his charm, he's gotten her to smile. It amazes me how his simple lines could make everyone smile and some even to tell him about their lives.
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She's given him a big zip lock bag filled with many more smaller zip lock bags, his pirate gear and some tape. He's always been amused that they have always encouraged being pirates and now he gets to be one too. She repeats that it's important to transform into a pirate at bed time and he smiles.
He's ready to go. He's ready to finally start walking again but she denies him this.
She forces him into a wheelchair and he muses that we should "accidentally" take one home and I promise we'll try. So we're all ready to make a quick one across the parking lot but the guards follow him closely. Frustrated, he stands up, smiles and raises his hand to say thank you and then continues to walk to the car.
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This is done, for now.
But we'll continue to declare Him to be our source of strength.
He has been amazing and that's evident in him. I'm overwhelmed by Him and him.
Thank you, all you who have cared.
We've tried making it seem like a secret spelling play. We've tried doing it with pronounced lip movement and syllable emphasis. We've even tried rationalizing so they would remember better and yet they still can't get it right.
+copy.jpg)
He's given up and although it's his name, I'm still at it.I can't possibly stop cause my thoughts tell me that it diminishes a little from the ties we have and that scares me. It may be a silly mistake but it just bothers that if not for my birth certificate, we'll technically not belong.
There she is, all decked in green repeating instructions and she's saying it with a pronounced 'u'. It bugs me and I want to say something but I let her go on. Her green uniform must already carry much more than it usually should and so adding this to that may not be a very wise thing to do. She seemed serious but with his charm, he's gotten her to smile. It amazes me how his simple lines could make everyone smile and some even to tell him about their lives.
+copy.jpg)
She's given him a big zip lock bag filled with many more smaller zip lock bags, his pirate gear and some tape. He's always been amused that they have always encouraged being pirates and now he gets to be one too. She repeats that it's important to transform into a pirate at bed time and he smiles.He's ready to go. He's ready to finally start walking again but she denies him this.
She forces him into a wheelchair and he muses that we should "accidentally" take one home and I promise we'll try. So we're all ready to make a quick one across the parking lot but the guards follow him closely. Frustrated, he stands up, smiles and raises his hand to say thank you and then continues to walk to the car.
+copy.jpg)
This is done, for now.But we'll continue to declare Him to be our source of strength.
He has been amazing and that's evident in him. I'm overwhelmed by Him and him.
Thank you, all you who have cared.
minx wrote at4:12 PM
0 replies
0 replies
Sunday, September 14, 2008 11:36 PM
like going on a holiday
The skin on my fingers are peeling and that's quite a pretty sight - at least some would say it is.
I'm thinking of that song where she apologizes profusely. I'm thinking of the thing that she did that had hurt that badly. I'm thinking maybe she left the white m&m's sprinkled double chocolate cake on the table for too long causing it to melt and thus ruin the reinforcement/treat she prepared. I'm thinking the kitty got crazy that the cake was ruined and went away sulking.
Do you know that a kangaroo can have three babies at once, well, technically at least. And that they're the only mommies that would throw their joey and start jumping away at the hint of danger. The narrator wasn't very nice to the kangaroo mommies.
She's packing for tomorrow and it reminds me of the inevitably long whispering. I trust fully but it's heavy - is that possible?
This is one of those days when I challenge you to walk a hundred steps in the opposite direction without turning back to look.
This is one of those times when my mouth spells out for you to please leave.
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But you don't have to, really.
I'm thinking of that song where she apologizes profusely. I'm thinking of the thing that she did that had hurt that badly. I'm thinking maybe she left the white m&m's sprinkled double chocolate cake on the table for too long causing it to melt and thus ruin the reinforcement/treat she prepared. I'm thinking the kitty got crazy that the cake was ruined and went away sulking.
Do you know that a kangaroo can have three babies at once, well, technically at least. And that they're the only mommies that would throw their joey and start jumping away at the hint of danger. The narrator wasn't very nice to the kangaroo mommies.
She's packing for tomorrow and it reminds me of the inevitably long whispering. I trust fully but it's heavy - is that possible?
This is one of those days when I challenge you to walk a hundred steps in the opposite direction without turning back to look.
This is one of those times when my mouth spells out for you to please leave.
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But you don't have to, really. minx wrote at11:36 PM
Tuesday, September 09, 2008 11:06 PM
she literally ironed her hair
I was half an hour into the life of a young adult with pink eye shadow, pink lipstick and pink earrings before it occurs to me. I would sit with her for another half an hour before I let her be the 'bitter truth' she was supposed to be.
They showed me a picture of a tiny her in dark blue overalls with a white butterfly on her fingers and then soon after she walks down the tracks in a field waving impossible signs at men behind barb wires. She's supposed to be the mommy with four little children holding on to every free side of her skirt but she's in here, kissing the foreheads of her little babies in pictures taken much too long ago.
This would never have been if the neighborhood was safe. If her father had not started up the violence that would soon devour his entire family and with it, other families. To know that he admits to not knowing any of the younger generation gang members or even care about what happens to them is ridiculous. He's old and can barely keep his head up but still does not admit to being silly.
She knows that she's only loyal to a name and yet she risks securing freedom over arranging for the murder of a disloyal member. She puts her family on the line to be loyal to the name that defined her for almost a decade of her life.
As I follow her and watch her hide secret messages in food trays, I pray she gets hit in the head by an invisible force, goes into a deep sleep for a week only to wake up just in time to sign her parole papers. But there she was, still writing away to another member about 'instructions'.
I was rooting for her with all my heart.
Because I realised under different circumstances, it could've easily been me up on that screen under lockdown.
They showed me a picture of a tiny her in dark blue overalls with a white butterfly on her fingers and then soon after she walks down the tracks in a field waving impossible signs at men behind barb wires. She's supposed to be the mommy with four little children holding on to every free side of her skirt but she's in here, kissing the foreheads of her little babies in pictures taken much too long ago.
This would never have been if the neighborhood was safe. If her father had not started up the violence that would soon devour his entire family and with it, other families. To know that he admits to not knowing any of the younger generation gang members or even care about what happens to them is ridiculous. He's old and can barely keep his head up but still does not admit to being silly.
She knows that she's only loyal to a name and yet she risks securing freedom over arranging for the murder of a disloyal member. She puts her family on the line to be loyal to the name that defined her for almost a decade of her life.
As I follow her and watch her hide secret messages in food trays, I pray she gets hit in the head by an invisible force, goes into a deep sleep for a week only to wake up just in time to sign her parole papers. But there she was, still writing away to another member about 'instructions'.
I was rooting for her with all my heart.
Because I realised under different circumstances, it could've easily been me up on that screen under lockdown.
minx wrote at11:06 PM
1 replies
1 replies
flamingos are collectivistic!
"i'm worried. it seems so uncertain."
"just. trust."
"but they did things so much more differently there."
"they saw you as an opportunity there."
"true."
"look, flamingos instinctively queue to have a dip. they're the only living creatures able to live in geyser-contaminated corrosive pond water. i declare flamingos as the coolest ritualistic birds ever!"
*forgets about everything*
That's twice now that animal planet has successfully bulldozed heavy things that needed shoving away.
i might start to religiously follow episodes by the end of this.
"just. trust."
"but they did things so much more differently there."
"they saw you as an opportunity there."
"true."
"look, flamingos instinctively queue to have a dip. they're the only living creatures able to live in geyser-contaminated corrosive pond water. i declare flamingos as the coolest ritualistic birds ever!"
*forgets about everything*
That's twice now that animal planet has successfully bulldozed heavy things that needed shoving away.
i might start to religiously follow episodes by the end of this.
minx wrote at9:40 PM
Wednesday, September 03, 2008 4:52 PM
because they want to see you
Do you notice how the tiles on the floor all meet each other at some point? That each tile is somehow connected to the other regardless of how faraway it is.
There were four tiles that were different, even special - they were under a lady with snow-white hair and a smile that matched the deliriously happy one on the banner. It's clear that both were smiling for absolutely different reasons. I, for one preferred the smile of the one sitting in the seat above these four tiles.
She had moments when she looked as if her thoughts blocked out the rest of the world. Nothing seemed to matter outside her head. She seemed the type that would have thoughts that could burn a hole in your own thoughts.
There were moments when nothing outside her and the two people next to her existed. These were moments when her smile and laugh was cheery and genuine and oblivious to the world watching her. If time could slow down, it would, if only to keep her good cheer for a little longer.
As all were in that waiting area, she had worries. Sometimes she had a look so forlorn that you think of things to do so her laugh would return. But nothing brought it back. Nothing silly and even nothing appealing to her maternal instincts brought it back.
Nothing could have done it the way her son did with a less than funny joke about numbers on the screen. He had a power none had. Their hands accidentally brushing while he shook his head figuring out how to work a presentation for work brought her slight smiles. His hand over her shoulder made that slight smile a little wider.
His acceptance at taking care of everything but strong refusal at having to carry her lady bag made all of us smile.
It's nice to think that just like the four tiles beneath me are connected to the four tiles beneath her, we could somehow be connected too.
Because then, I could offer her white chocolate(that would match her hair) for making major, could be more, no guarantee just that little bit more bearable.
I'd love to sit with her some day and tell her how these subtle moments helped me to trust through a heavy heart.
There were four tiles that were different, even special - they were under a lady with snow-white hair and a smile that matched the deliriously happy one on the banner. It's clear that both were smiling for absolutely different reasons. I, for one preferred the smile of the one sitting in the seat above these four tiles.
She had moments when she looked as if her thoughts blocked out the rest of the world. Nothing seemed to matter outside her head. She seemed the type that would have thoughts that could burn a hole in your own thoughts.
There were moments when nothing outside her and the two people next to her existed. These were moments when her smile and laugh was cheery and genuine and oblivious to the world watching her. If time could slow down, it would, if only to keep her good cheer for a little longer.
As all were in that waiting area, she had worries. Sometimes she had a look so forlorn that you think of things to do so her laugh would return. But nothing brought it back. Nothing silly and even nothing appealing to her maternal instincts brought it back.
Nothing could have done it the way her son did with a less than funny joke about numbers on the screen. He had a power none had. Their hands accidentally brushing while he shook his head figuring out how to work a presentation for work brought her slight smiles. His hand over her shoulder made that slight smile a little wider.
His acceptance at taking care of everything but strong refusal at having to carry her lady bag made all of us smile.
It's nice to think that just like the four tiles beneath me are connected to the four tiles beneath her, we could somehow be connected too.
Because then, I could offer her white chocolate(that would match her hair) for making major, could be more, no guarantee just that little bit more bearable.I'd love to sit with her some day and tell her how these subtle moments helped me to trust through a heavy heart.
minx wrote at4:52 PM
0 replies
0 replies