Wednesday, October 01, 2008 10:27 PM
you scored a great one, don't let go
This doesn't have a name. Either that or I refuse to name it. Although, there are a few things that do have names in my head at this precise moment. Things like awe, jealousy, goodwill, support, and oh, awe (yes, again).
This only reaffirmed what I already knew - that it could never be. The one thing that gets to me is how my eyes still run down the list of names searching. For someone who knows, this is silly.
How do you stop? How do you do it if it's all you've been doing for all this time?
Catching it by the collar and then leaving it at the altar is the most brilliant thing I could have done. And that's what I did. Unfortunate as it may seem, this does not account for the countless times it surfaces. It's persistent and annoying, eventually causing too many whispers to the air.
you don't even know what you do to me.
. . . . .
Average isn't something to paint a banner and throw a party for. It's one thing to know and be unable to have it seem intelligent and quite another to keep bumping into the hard top of the ceiling. What is this, I ask myself. There are too many possibilities for answers. Some that I clearly know and have come to accept and others that feel like an assassination plan on this heart.
This struggle, do you struggle with it too? Oh, bother. Thoughts are troubling little things that bite away at what little space you have of time, pushing as far as it would dare go only to stop midway through, echoing the hysterical laughter it intended from the very beginning.
I pull. I push. But for what and how long? This melancholic tone, this almost pretentious piece of writing; all for what? Some attention? Some display of sympathy? If you know me, you would understand that this would be the last of my intentions. A few know this to be an outlet - not of emotions - for a part of me that I let die at the beginning of the journey for a proper education. Well, that's at least what I let them feed me.
After reading her, it's impossible not to see the talent that she let groom into a potential that could go nowhere except blossom. It's difficult then to sit here and not wonder. Mine in comparison just seems like child's play. Yes, I admit, social comparison is an evil concept.
She's a great one and don't you dare let her go.
minx wrote at10:27 PM
