the girl
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She's the girl who sits and watches while others live a charmed life. The girl loves to write but doesn't know if she's any good at it. She loves rainbow sprinkled ice cream on a rainy day. She loves to take walks with the wind blowing. Giggling should be made a career. She tells you her secrets in not so many words.
in the past
blog pokes
well-known pokes
Sunday, March 22, 2009 7:22 PM
packing bags for a 'somewhere'
The ray of sun hiding behind clouds just to the left of my window moved further down leaving the aqua blue clouds pining. And now those clouds are not seen as the darkness of the night enfolds everything. Soon the 7 on the clock will no longer be so permanent as 8 takes its rightful permanence throughout the next 60 minutes.
The difference that the past week brought was an interesting one. One life lost, two trips made and now, one remains. Some call it strength, I call it stuck. Over and again, the journey repeats - with no real way forward and none backward. They speak of Christmas cookies, food for tomorrow and the coming weeks but really, is that what's needed?
This talk of tomorrow bothers greatly as the basis for a now is not yet in place. The days are reduced to hours and minutes ignoring the difference that this very second could make. I do not know what this is or how to undo the missing knots. Perhaps dead knots are not what it seems.
Perhaps my human eyes fail to see.
I sincerely hope that's the case.
Some seem so slow sealing in them transitory permanence. There are those that sail by at paced motions planting assurance for a time that will soon come. More concern is showered on ones that leave in between without care for pleading cries of the lost.
Change, it's ever so permanent. Ever so painful yet beautiful.
Maybe soon, this too will change.
The difference that the past week brought was an interesting one. One life lost, two trips made and now, one remains. Some call it strength, I call it stuck. Over and again, the journey repeats - with no real way forward and none backward. They speak of Christmas cookies, food for tomorrow and the coming weeks but really, is that what's needed?
This talk of tomorrow bothers greatly as the basis for a now is not yet in place. The days are reduced to hours and minutes ignoring the difference that this very second could make. I do not know what this is or how to undo the missing knots. Perhaps dead knots are not what it seems.
Perhaps my human eyes fail to see.
I sincerely hope that's the case.
Some seem so slow sealing in them transitory permanence. There are those that sail by at paced motions planting assurance for a time that will soon come. More concern is showered on ones that leave in between without care for pleading cries of the lost.
Change, it's ever so permanent. Ever so painful yet beautiful.
Maybe soon, this too will change.
minx wrote at7:22 PM
2 replies
2 replies
Friday, March 20, 2009 3:09 PM
i see you in between blinks
You're still there even when there are hurrying feet paced according to clicks of watches.
You try to speak louder than the sounds of creaking hinges from many closing doors.
You're around to say jaundiced fingers don't look too bad if they were acquired upon making dear friends happy.
You're the only one that will sit right here with me and tell me that sad smileys and a heavy heart is what You feel with me.
This is the wonder of the Blinking Cursor game.
You try to speak louder than the sounds of creaking hinges from many closing doors.
You're around to say jaundiced fingers don't look too bad if they were acquired upon making dear friends happy.
You're the only one that will sit right here with me and tell me that sad smileys and a heavy heart is what You feel with me.
This is the wonder of the Blinking Cursor game.
minx wrote at3:09 PM
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 11:57 AM
right/left
It hasn't got a name - at least an official one. There's a long list of statistical terms down the middle with accompanying check boxes flanking it on both the left and right side. As of now, the right side is aesthetically pleasing while the left is statistically pleasing.
I had until the end of last night to decide which check boxes to follow.
But, that's a decision still pending right now, 12 hours past the deadline.
What's so much of a bother is the fact that all I need is one (1) check box for a decision I know I want to take. I've tried coaxing it with good music and enough dark chocolate to get it to go into sugar shock. I've gone through the ever increasing number of bookmarks, now conveniently parked under 'stats' and to no avail. I've yabbered to it in statistical gibberish as consistently as I know how to come off as a nag but it won't budge.
As fun as this is, I can't help but to wonder why I'm inside or without the Farida. Missing it is an understatement.
I want in on the 'shining people out pursuing their bliss' and so the want and need war rages on.
Delayedgratificationdelayedgratificationdelayedgratification. =)
I had until the end of last night to decide which check boxes to follow.
But, that's a decision still pending right now, 12 hours past the deadline.What's so much of a bother is the fact that all I need is one (1) check box for a decision I know I want to take. I've tried coaxing it with good music and enough dark chocolate to get it to go into sugar shock. I've gone through the ever increasing number of bookmarks, now conveniently parked under 'stats' and to no avail. I've yabbered to it in statistical gibberish as consistently as I know how to come off as a nag but it won't budge.
As fun as this is, I can't help but to wonder why I'm inside or without the Farida. Missing it is an understatement.
I want in on the 'shining people out pursuing their bliss' and so the want and need war rages on.
Delayedgratificationdelayedgratificationdelayedgratification. =)
minx wrote at11:57 AM
2 replies
2 replies
Monday, March 16, 2009 12:38 AM
skepticism akin to the fence
Tomorrow's the Big A or otherwise known as the hour-long trapping session where we transform into "equals" with a Doctor and her tutor.
I gulp every time that crosses my mind. Seeing it written makes me gulp even more - whatever happened to catharsis? Grr.
Ah, good thing for images from analogies - they work with the Imagination to give life to the most interesting characters who then do/say/laugh in the most peculiar ways. Heh. I now have a garden gnome struggling to keep it's hat out of the way while it climbs over the fence to get to the other side of the lawn. Uh oh, the gnome gave me a stare for writing about it without a letter of permission and informed consent so I can't say more.
Except: thank You for the neighboring lawn analogy!
. . . . .
The writing's on the wall - in caps and clear.
It hurt, like I pictured it would but the pangs were good (which was out of expectation And more than I could ask for) =)
You always, always know best!
I gulp every time that crosses my mind. Seeing it written makes me gulp even more - whatever happened to catharsis? Grr.
Ah, good thing for images from analogies - they work with the Imagination to give life to the most interesting characters who then do/say/laugh in the most peculiar ways. Heh. I now have a garden gnome struggling to keep it's hat out of the way while it climbs over the fence to get to the other side of the lawn. Uh oh, the gnome gave me a stare for writing about it without a letter of permission and informed consent so I can't say more.
Except: thank You for the neighboring lawn analogy!
. . . . .
The writing's on the wall - in caps and clear.
It hurt, like I pictured it would but the pangs were good (which was out of expectation And more than I could ask for) =)
You always, always know best!
minx wrote at12:38 AM
2 replies
2 replies
Sunday, March 15, 2009 6:35 PM
.
I hear you singing to my heart.
The first instinct I have is to reach out to hold on to the melody. Instead the words circle my heart challenging my brain to decipher them. I play with the few guesses I have going and weigh the pro/con list to ask if they're right. The cons are overwhelming the list thus far so I keep my thoughts to myself.
Intrigue won't leave me so more and even more equations come up to explain the melody and words you've strung together to call your song. I smile noticing little things that are just so you but stop myself knowing that I may not have the right to that.
We're no longer what we used to be. We've drifted apart. And we'll finally drift to become strangers.
These words are possibly the closest we'll ever be from here on out. And I don't know if that's good or bad.
But I do know: iMiss =)
The first instinct I have is to reach out to hold on to the melody. Instead the words circle my heart challenging my brain to decipher them. I play with the few guesses I have going and weigh the pro/con list to ask if they're right. The cons are overwhelming the list thus far so I keep my thoughts to myself.
Intrigue won't leave me so more and even more equations come up to explain the melody and words you've strung together to call your song. I smile noticing little things that are just so you but stop myself knowing that I may not have the right to that.
We're no longer what we used to be. We've drifted apart. And we'll finally drift to become strangers.
These words are possibly the closest we'll ever be from here on out. And I don't know if that's good or bad.
But I do know: iMiss =)
minx wrote at6:35 PM
0 replies
0 replies
Wednesday, March 11, 2009 9:03 PM
flew/fell, why does it matter?
Today, I flew.
Not like a bird or like a kite.
Something like a duck, but not really, no.
I took off with a splash and landed with a splash.
Oh what a splash, was that hard concrete crash.
Sat, I did while three hurried.
They asked, they held, they wobbled me to my feet
With, "Those slippers are not made with flippers, silly."
That cry, it was not all pain.
But from gain, of life,
Of love,
Of dearest ones.
To you, today I fell.
But really, today, I flew.
. . . . .
I think grazing my right arm and hurting the right side of my bottom has nudged into action the rhyming device in the left side of my brain. This, I believe is a milestone for research on the human body. I can picture it already, 'Right arm and bottom wired to rhyming device!' - yes, it'll have to end with an exclamation mark.
Cool feature story to add to the Health section of the news, won't you say =D
Not like a bird or like a kite.
Something like a duck, but not really, no.
I took off with a splash and landed with a splash.
Oh what a splash, was that hard concrete crash.
Sat, I did while three hurried.
They asked, they held, they wobbled me to my feet
With, "Those slippers are not made with flippers, silly."
That cry, it was not all pain.
But from gain, of life,
Of love,
Of dearest ones.
To you, today I fell.
But really, today, I flew.
. . . . .
I think grazing my right arm and hurting the right side of my bottom has nudged into action the rhyming device in the left side of my brain. This, I believe is a milestone for research on the human body. I can picture it already, 'Right arm and bottom wired to rhyming device!' - yes, it'll have to end with an exclamation mark.
Cool feature story to add to the Health section of the news, won't you say =D
minx wrote at9:03 PM
0 replies
0 replies
Monday, March 09, 2009 3:30 PM
need a break, nibble a tim tam
The morning was a beautiful color of gray with subtle rain that swept the winds away with its occasional heavy showers. It was the kind of day that you go out to splash at puddles with an umbrella resting on your left shoulder. The very type of day that reminds you that nothing is worth more than this that has been created for you.
Unfortunate as it seems, nagging workloads are still attention seekers even on days like this. They pester and kick and throw temper tantrums until you sit and pay them some due attention. And so, it's been a long day - of typing, drawing, thinking, arguing and feeling. All of that and yet the clock on my task bar insists its 3.00 PM.
I needed a break that was not a Kit Kat so I spent the little left in the wallet on Tim Tams. Ah bother, how to watch the art of hitting high cymbals (literally) and bob head to happy battle music like this! Oh well, the Hopes are not up but they're hanging in there =D
Feeling idle, I fidgeted with pictures while nibbling at Tim Tams - so you get to see some love courtesy of Inamorato.
morning starters
if you were a peeping tiff, this is what you'll see at dinner parties =D
a sit-in from the acquaintance from nature =))
1935 hours
1939 hours
The Ixus is phenomenal in so many ways - nothing like the big guns but phenomenal nonetheless.
Unfortunate as it seems, nagging workloads are still attention seekers even on days like this. They pester and kick and throw temper tantrums until you sit and pay them some due attention. And so, it's been a long day - of typing, drawing, thinking, arguing and feeling. All of that and yet the clock on my task bar insists its 3.00 PM.
I needed a break that was not a Kit Kat so I spent the little left in the wallet on Tim Tams. Ah bother, how to watch the art of hitting high cymbals (literally) and bob head to happy battle music like this! Oh well, the Hopes are not up but they're hanging in there =D
Feeling idle, I fidgeted with pictures while nibbling at Tim Tams - so you get to see some love courtesy of Inamorato.
morning starters
if you were a peeping tiff, this is what you'll see at dinner parties =D
a sit-in from the acquaintance from nature =))
1935 hours
1939 hoursThe Ixus is phenomenal in so many ways - nothing like the big guns but phenomenal nonetheless.
minx wrote at3:30 PM
0 replies
0 replies
Friday, March 06, 2009 11:13 PM
kazoo's honour
It came in an undated email with a three alphabet title that had bold fonts; somewhat reflective of the urgency I felt in the pit of my stomach. Coaxing the brain to swallow the words from the five paragraphs devoid of real emotion, was a task. Every word followed blood veins to the heart before they finally met up again in the brain. And by the time the words could settle down enough to call a toast and cheer to the wonders of the human brain, the heart had sunk to depths unknown.
I had to sit and hope that the line I threw with Godly bait would entice the heart enough to return to its rightful place. Please and it'll be okay appeased for a brief moment before the realness of the situation stung and bit away at bits of a now already numb heart.
The buzz from seasoned men putting/hiding away mess after a 9 to 5/6/7 day helped to keep the hands from sending texts that would most likely intrude on schedules that have been devoted to a One more important (or so I thought).
A solitary text went out to the biological sister which returned with advice to get ice cream as soon as possible.
Instead, I sat and typed my heart in a letter to You. I signed it love, tiff; those last two words took with it all that I had in me to leave ample room for a banner, cake and an entire marching band to cheer home a mending heart =)
This change was painful as it was a dear part of who I had become. But this must have been necessary and so I'm hopeful for all that has yet to come.
To that end, I don't think anyone could say it better than dear Kazoo:
Goodbye =)
I had to sit and hope that the line I threw with Godly bait would entice the heart enough to return to its rightful place. Please and it'll be okay appeased for a brief moment before the realness of the situation stung and bit away at bits of a now already numb heart.
The buzz from seasoned men putting/hiding away mess after a 9 to 5/6/7 day helped to keep the hands from sending texts that would most likely intrude on schedules that have been devoted to a One more important (or so I thought).
A solitary text went out to the biological sister which returned with advice to get ice cream as soon as possible.
Instead, I sat and typed my heart in a letter to You. I signed it love, tiff; those last two words took with it all that I had in me to leave ample room for a banner, cake and an entire marching band to cheer home a mending heart =)
This change was painful as it was a dear part of who I had become. But this must have been necessary and so I'm hopeful for all that has yet to come.
To that end, I don't think anyone could say it better than dear Kazoo:
Goodbye =) minx wrote at11:13 PM
0 replies
0 replies